If you aren’t living the life you want, how do you get back on track? How do you get clear on what you want? And how do you stay committed to it? Here are some steps that can help you get started:
Know What Motivates You
Motivation becomes stronger when you have a vision or an image of what you want to achieve. You may have the desire to get something done or to achieve a particular goal, but if the desire and ambition are not strong enough, you may lack the initiative and willingness to take the necessary action. A motivated person takes action and does what is needed to achieve her or his goals.
Before getting what we want we must first know what that is. This may seem obvious but it trips up even the most intelligent people right out of the gate. Take out a blank sheet of paper and write “My Dream Life” at the top. List everything you want to have, do, be and share. From this list generate goals to help set you back on course.
Avoid the “Shiny New Object Syndrome”
It’s easy to lose momentum by getting distracted with new, exciting opportunities. Having clarity makes it easier to distinguish those opportunities that help move us forward from the ones that throw us off track. The next time a new opportunity arises ask yourself, “How will this help me achieve my ultimate goal of “x”? If it doesn’t, you probably want to dismiss the opportunity and move on.
People who focus on the destination as opposed to the journey also tend to be more critical of their failures. When you enjoy the process along the way, it’s easier to appreciate the end result — whether you consider it a “success” or “failure.” The next time you do experience failure, however, reframe it. Consider that you have just learned how not to do something, and then acknowledge yourself for what you’ve learned.
Give in to Your Primal Instincts
Craving new challenges is hard-wired into our DNA. If it weren’t, we never would have left the cave, invented the wheel or flown to outer space. Ignoring this primal code over the long term can lead to disappointment. So how do you happily succumb to this urge? With more clarity and structure.
Create a list of things you haven’t done yet, but want to do. Be specific and remember the three, guaranteed “no fail” rules when it comes to goal setting:
1. Write it down. 2. Write it down. 3. Write it down.
Putting your list in writing transforms it from a desire into a personal contract with yourself.
Taking time to care for ourselves, guilt-free, is difficult for many people. Sometimes it feels as though things will fall off the rails if we “let go.” But when we do let go, something amazing happens: the earth still spins — people find a way to manage without us. Taking time off leaves us feeling refreshed and makes us better workers, parents, spouses and citizens. Plus, going guilt-free can be contagious.
As with anything worthwhile, there is no quick fix when it comes to designing and building the life you want. However, keeping yourself motivated can make you a happier person, more energetic and enable you to see the positive results. Getting the life of your dreams should be more than a dream. Make it a reality by taking these steps; as the saying goes “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Imagine you are at the end of your life; would you rather have wonderful memories or awful regrets? Only you can make the life you want so what are you waiting for? Go for it!
Natural disaster. Divorce. Death of a loved one. Job loss. Career change. There’s not one of us who has escaped major change in our lives. And whether you bring on major change yourself or circumstances beyond your control are thrust upon you, starting over is never easy. In fact, major life change can bring with it extreme heartache, debilitating stress and despair. But you can do it. You have the means within yourself to recuperate and grow from any life-altering situation. Truly. If you or a loved one is facing an experience that requires “starting over,” keep the following points in mind. They’ll help you get through a very difficult time with greater peace-of-mind and grace. Take time to let go. Starting over often happens due to traumatic events. Even when you initiate the change that requires starting over, grief is natural. Take the necessary time to grieve your losses. Your timeframe for mourning may be different than someone else’s, so be true to your own needs. Be gentle with yourself. If ever there was a time to love and nurture yourself, it would be now. Go easy and be sweet with yourself. Take rest when you need it. Say no to anything but the essential, and use that extra time to sleep, walk in nature, visit with supportive friends. Just be. One step at a time. Starting over can feel overwhelming at first, so pay attention to one step at a time. For example, if your home has been devastated by fire or another disaster, take care of your immediate housing needs and safety first before you turn to the bigger question of where to live in the long run. Take consistent baby steps. You will make more progress (and it will feel easier) if you focus on accomplishing regular, small tasks rather than large ones now and then. It will also help you move through the times when you feel so overwhelmed that you can’t seem to do anything. Acknowledge each and every step as an accomplishment. Each and every one is. Accept the change. Whatever has happened has simply “happened.” It just is. Try to avoid “what if” scenarios or feeling guilty or creating stories to explain why it happened. Hard as it might seem, acceptance helps you embrace the process of starting over. Make an attitude adjustment. Starting over can be as easy as changing your mind or your attitude. Instead of being fearful of change and what lies ahead, embrace the potential that change makes possible. Try to view it as adventurous, perhaps even exhilirating. You may learn to celebrate change rather than trying to avoid it. Set realistic deadlines. When it comes to the tasks required of starting over, it’s helpful to set deadlines for yourself. But give yourself ample time to accomplish them. For example, you might set a date to attend a support group to help you deal with the pain of loss. Learn new skills if necessary. Starting over might mean having to learn some new skills. If you lost your job, you might need or want to go back to school. If you lost a longtime spouse, you might have to learn how to date again. Be open to learning. It’s a positive way to start over and have some fun at the same time. Create a support team. Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family members for help, or attend support groups. And know when to seek help from professionals. People who are more resilient use these strategies to build their strength and capacity to lead a resilient life. They choose to embrace the unpredictability of life, the pain and the adversity because they know that the rewards they gain are priceless. Like it or not, change is inevitable. Learn to accept, embrace and grow from the change. Starting over will feel easier, and you be able to go with the flow more gracefully. It may not feel like it at the time, but slow and steady steps will help you heal, grow and evolve into a more rounded being who can bounce back when life knocks you down. How do you keep going when the going gets tough? Share your thoughts with us on Facebook or tweet @marshallbcoach.
It’s a new year, time for making plans and setting goals for your health, relationships and lifestyle; but what about your career? Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve in your working life is key to achieving your goals and enjoying success. Do you know what you want your future to look like?
Why Set Goals?
Top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields all set goals. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation. It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your career.
Here are some steps you can take to help you articulate your vision statement for your career which will help you achieve your goals.
• Set aside some time.
Creating a vision for your career cannot and should not be rushed. After all, you are going to be spending the majority of your time at work, so you may as well spend some careful consideration when planning.
• Review your goals and values: Write or type out what you are currently doing and what is important to you for a healthy working life.
• Long Term Goals: What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at, what type of work is important to you?
• Short Term Goals: What knowledge or skills do I need? What industry should I focus on?
• What would your career be like if you had the power to make it any way you wanted?
• Imagine yourself in the future at a point in which you have achieved great career success. What is it that you have accomplished? What does your life look like?
• Where would you like to be in your career in 5 years? In 10 years? In 15 years?
These are just a few simple questions to get your creative juices going. Once you start to express your feelings and thoughts about your career, you will start to see a plan form. Keep your statement nearby where you can read it regularly to inspire you. Revisit it often to make sure you are staying on track and to reinforce the image of you in our ideal career which will help you both consciously and subconsciously develop goals and action steps that will lead you to success. Have you created a Vision for your Career? Leave a comment here or head on over to our Facebook or LinkedIn pages, or tweet @marshallbcoach and share your experience!
You may already know that I had the honor of being interviewed by SimplyHired.com for an article on using the Law of Attraction in your job search. I happen to love using the Law of Attraction in many areas of my life but I find it especially useful when working with my executive and leadership coaching clients in their respective careers. From climbing the corporate ladder to complete changes in direction, the tools in the Law of Attraction aid progression and promotion incredibly. Here are a few ways to use to the Law of Attraction in your career to get clear, get focused, and get ahead!
1. Decide What it is You Want. It’s an unfortunate truth that many people get stuck serving the same organization unhappily for most, if not all, of their careers. Imagine the nightmare of working somewhere you don’t love, doing a job that doesn’t satisfy you, until retirement. Investing the time to examine yourself, your skills, and your priorities will help you to decide exactly what it is that you want from your career.
2. Renew Your Level of Commitment. Once you’re clear on what you want, fully commit to that cause. Every action you take in your career should be a step in the direction of your goals, whatever they may be. Stay focused and dedicated to your dreams and you’ll get there.
3. Know that Something Better is Coming. Part of the Law of Attraction is having faith that your proactive choices and everyday commitment to your goals will bring about the changes you want to see. Sometimes it may seem that the process is taking too long or that you’ll never reach your “final” destination. Know that it’s coming and that you’re learning valuable lessons along the way; lessons that will serve you greatly when you finally get wherever it is that you’re going.
4. Focus on Your Goals. Use some quiet time every day to imagine your life when you’ve achieved your dreams. Picture yourself behind your executive desk in your big corner office or soaking up the sun during a well-deserved vacation once that bonus check clears. Using your mind, each and every day, to envision the life you’re preparing yourself to live will foster the development of that new reality for you.
These are just a few actionable tools you can implement today to use the Law of Attraction in your career. I have a variety of career coaching tools available on my website, but if you feel as though you could use some personalized support to create your own game plan for success, contact me today for a complimentary consultation!